Maybe
by GiGiLiz
Summary: Maybe it had been a year. She didn't keep track. She knew others would, but she didn't. It would've just been another hurtful reminder, another sleepless night, and another round of painful tears. One-Shot


Maybe it had been a year. She didn't keep track. She knew others would, but she didn't. It would've just been another hurtful reminder, another sleepless night, and another round of painful tears. She didn't want another reminder. She had tried all she could to forget him, put it in her past, and others thought it was true. But if some just saw through, they would see that's she's still broken. Part of her heart seemed to go away with his, his crushed, ripped out, hurt heart. His heart seemed to be filled with happiness and love, and the memories from the past, but if you dug deeper, he was just a young, lost boy.

Maybe she missed the young, lost boy. The guy who would bring her donuts, and who would send her smiles every time he saw her. The guy, who would make corny jokes and who, without Regina's permission, had made her deputy. The guy who wore the badge and the guy who solved the crimes of Storybrooke. The guy who had worn the leather jacket, the same jacket still hanging in her office. But most of all, the guy who stood up for the mayor, only to have what he wanted taken away.

Maybe she still cried. Some nights would be spent pacing around, cup after cup of coffee being drunken. Some nights were spent with nightmares, waking up sobbing and clutching the covers, hoping it wasn't real. Some nights were spent wondering, maybe even hoping, what it would be like with him beside her. Her favorite nights were spent dreaming, as if none of it had happened. But these nights lacked, sleep lacked, after his death, stuck in the piece of crap called Fairytale Land, and even now.

Maybe Henry was right. Was it possible Regina could be so cruel to hurt an innocent soul? To kill for no reason? Sure, he had hurt her, but the result of her pain had to be murder? The doctors said he died of natural causes-no heart ripping, no heart crushing, and no murder. But that was when the curse was still there-Regina easily could've covered it up. There was no proof for her, no evidence. Of course, Henry's book could tell her everything, but the risk of more tears and more pain wasn't worth it. All she knew was that if Regina really did do that…she'd be asking for a fight.

Maybe…maybe she loved him. She always thought that since she was the savior, Graham had remembered for that reason and that reason only. But the more she thought about it, the more her mind wondered to the possibility to true love's kiss. At first, she told herself she was only thinking that because he was gone, and she felt guilt, and she wanted a reason. That could be her reason. But she also could tell when anyone was lying. Was she supposed to look in the mirror and ask herself, "am I the liar?" Was it love…Love. She never had much love in her life. It seemed every time she loved, her heart was broken. It was Neal, first, who caused her to put up her walls. He was supposed to love her and help her, but all he did was tell the police she stole. And he left her in prison, and pregnant, which he didn't know about-and she doesn't want him to know about. He hurt her. She always felt isolated since she was released from prison. But Henry came along and gave her all she needed-hope. And the hope led her to stay in Storybrooke, and find Graham. He too, had broken her heart. But at least he took the time to pick of the broken pieces and put them back together. It may have been only a couple days, but a couple days were enough. Just in those couple of days, Graham had helped her put down her walls, help make her feel comforted. And just when she thought all was going well, he was gone. Just like that. She lost count of how many times she cried, how many times he lingered in her mind, how many times she had to realize that he was gone. So was it love? Was it love that made her feel giddy near him, like a young, happy, little girl? Was it love that made her trust him? Was it love that made him hurt her? Was it love when he gave her the few kisses, the few glances, and the few smiles? Was it?

Maybe she did love him.

Maybe she missed his terrible jokes, his leather jacket, and his perfect kisses.

Maybe she missed him.

And maybe, with the power of magic…

Maybe he would come back.


End file.
